Living With The Psychopath Gl Completed Self Published
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Episode 45:Napahinga ako ng malalim bago silipin ang langit. It was already passed six in the evening pero ito at nasa labas pa ako kasama si Rosendale. We sort of developed a new hobby of going out every late afternoon, waiting for the sunset and then watching the stars go visible. May kalamigan na rin ang hangin, may dala naman akong jacket just in case.Tahimik lang ang lugar. Matao rito tuwing umaga, kadalasan ay mga batang naglalaro lang, kaya sa ganitong oras ay umaalis na rin sila. Nakaupo ako sa duyan na naka-hang lang sa makapal na sanga ng puno. Itong kasama ko naman ay nakasandal lang, maya't maya kong nahuhuli na tumitingin sa akin.Hindi kalayuan ay may Ministop sa kabilang kalsada, ilang bahay at establishments, at paradahan ng tricycle sa may kanto papasok sa isang subdivision. Bukas na rin ang mga street lights.Recently lang naman kami napatambay rito dahil kung tutuusin ay madalas lang akong nasa bahay. Rosendale told me that this vacant lot was a fine spot to waste some time."How was your session?" Napalingon ako sa kanya. She had this peaceful expression that made me feel so calm, it's like telling me there's nothing wrong at all with all that's happening around us.Huminga ako ng malalim at inabot ang kamay niya na kaagad din namang humawak sa akin pabalik. She was drawing circles on my palm with her thumb. Her brown eyes was somehow radiating, hindi ko mabasa kung anong iniisip niya sa ganoong klase ng tingin but I can sense that she's doing just fine. "There's only one word, Rosendale. It was uncomfortable."Natawa siya ng mahina. Pumunta siya sa likuran ko at ipinalibot ang braso sa akin. Ramdam ko ang paghinga maging ang tibok ng puso niya dahil sa sobrang lapit niya She's so soft it can melt me. I can't help but snickered with my own thought, I was starting to think like some hopeless romantic."That's the most precise word." I heard her say. She took a lungful of air, propping her chin on the top of my head. Her embrace became tighter. Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya. "At some point in my life after my family's death, nagpa-therapy rin ako.""Was it effective? Were you ever really diagnosed?""I was diagnosed with depression and PTSD, which is common for people with traumatic experience such as witnessing death. I was able to overcome my PTSD, but you know there are just some things that's inescapable."Hindi ako sumagot pero sang-ayon naman ako sa narinig. Kung ikukumpara siya no'ng una kong makilala, she's surely even worst than now. She's suicidal no more. Hindi ko na siya matatawag pa na ganoon, which was funny because we started like that. She was calling me a bitch and well, ganoon pa rin ako.Maybe I did change, slowly, or maybe I've always been like this, only hidden not until she came. She taught me how to be more understanding. It's like Rosendale was more human than I was. Sobrang magkaiba kami sa lahat ng aspeto.I was aware she's still struggling, I guess it will really take a long time for her to be fine. At sa tingin ko ganoon din ako. It's a long process, but I was hoping it will be worth it. Someday, we'll be truly fine. Hindi ko alam kung anong mangyayari sa mga susunod na panahon, pero sana magkasama pa rin kami sakaling dumating nga ang araw na 'yon. There's a lot of possibilities out there anyway."You're better now," I told her, admitting the truth I saw in her for all this time."I won't say that you completed me, Echo," Narinig ko ang mahinang pagtawa niya, ramdam ko rin ang pagngiti nito. Nakakagaan sa pakiramdam. "But I will not deny that you complemented every fiber of my being."."Ganoon na rin 'yon, pinahaba mo lang." Hindi ko maiwasang mapairap."If you can just shut up for a while and go with the flow." Her voice was laced with both amusement and mockery."Ewan ko sa'yo, bahala ka.""The session will be uncomfortable for you, it will be difficult, that's inevitable." Ibinalik niya sa original na subject ang usapan. "Sometimes you'll see yourself just wanting to stop, but don't. It's part of the process, Echo.""To face the things we don't want to deal with." I said in a low voice. "I'm terrible at it.""You're my denial queen after all.""Excuse me, hindi ako denial.""Sure, sure."Hindi na lang ako umimik kahit halata sa boses niyang hindi naman siya naniniwala. Ramdam ko ang bahagyang paglamig lalo ng hangin pero baliwala lang dahil nakayakap pa rin siya.Huminga ako ng malalim at pumikit. Pakiramdam ko sobrang dami nang nangyari, pero nandoon din yung sensation na parang ang bilis din ng lahat. It's really hard to explain.Umalis si Rosendale para pumunta sa harap ko. She extended her hand which I took in return. "Do you want to go somewhere?""Saan?" I asked her. My parents were at work, at baka late na ring makauwi. Wala namang problema kung magpapagabi kami, kaso ang random ng gusto niya. "Gabi na.""I know some coffeeshop, isang sakay lang naman, but it'll probably take half an hour or less kung walang traffic.""Parang ang layo." Kontra ko. "Tsaka gabi na nga, magkakape pa tayo?"Nagtaas siya ng kilay at bahagya akong hinila palapit sa kanya. "They have desserts if you don't want to intake some caffeine.""Mauuna dessert bago dinner?""Nasa rule ba na bawal?""Wala akong sinabi.""Then let's go, taxi na lang tayo. I'd like to keep you for myself." She showed me a lopsided grin.Napalunok ako. Iba ang dating no'n sa akin. "Shut up, stupid."--The entire place smelled like coffee. It was relaxing, hindi ko alam na pwede pala iyon. Kapag nagkakape naman kasi ako ay hindi ko pinapansin ang amoy. This was my first time going to a coffeeshop. Hindi ko lang alam dito sa babaeng 'to."What do you think about the place?"Nilibot ko ang lugar. I was never good in describing but it was comforting. It was giving the vibes that anyone can come here, hindi intimidating. The music was soft and calming, hindi ganoon kalakas, hindi rin naman sobrang hina.There were also a bunch of books displayed on the shelves sa magkabilang gilid. Para akong nasa library with an extended coffeeshop. The owner must be a bookworm.Nagkibit ako ng balikat bilang sagot. Rosendale just shrugged her shoulder as well. Mabilis naman kaming nakahanap ng mauupuan. Hindi matao ngayong oras which was good."Meron din silang art gallery." She informed me. "You want to see?""Hindi ako mahilig sa art, pero sige. Order na tayo?"Tumango naman siya. "What do you want?""Surprise me.""Bulaga."Para akong nabilaukan sa ginawa niya. She said it in a very monotonous tone, hindi ko malaman kung iniinis niya ba ako or what. Napakunot ako ng noo. "Funny, Rosendale."She chuckled at my sarcasm. Umalis siya at pumunta sa bar stool, she was staring at the menu. Hindi rin nagtagal ay bumalik na siya at naupo sa tabi ko."I discovered this place just very recently, heard it on some students.""Nakikinig ka pala sa usapan ng iba.""Might as well try going out once in a while.""First time mo lang din ba rito?" Tumango siya sa tanong ko. Sabagay, simula nang tumira siya sa amin, lagi lang naman siyang nasa bahay. Ganoon lang ang routine naming dalawa. Ayos na rin siguro ito. A change of environment can be helpful. "How were you no'ng bata-bata ka pa?""More normal? I guess," She tilted her head, her eyes piercing through me. "When I was in highschool, I usually go to this kind of place.""Do you ever had any friends?""A few.""Nasaan na sila?""Hindi ko alam. Matagal na rin 'yon." Sumandal siya sa inuupuan. "I don't need friends, I have you now."Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. Pinipilit huwag ipahalata ang epekto ng sinabi niya sa akin. "That's different.""Then, I'll count your friend as my friend, too.""Si Cheddy?""Do you have any other friends I'm not aware of?" She grinned. "Unless it's imaginary.""You're annoying.""Pikon ka lang."Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. Sasagot pa sana ako nang dumating na ang order namin. Tahimik lang na inilapag nitong lalaki yung inumin at dessert, umalis din naman ito kaagad. Inabot sa akin ni Rosendale yung isang slice ng cake, it was red velvet. Napatango ako. Alam niya kung anong papasa sa panlasa ko. Sa kanya naman ay kape lang talaga."Gusto mo ba?" Alok ko sa kanya. Humigop siya sa baso at umiling. "Sige.""I'll rather taste you—" Ngumisi siya ng pang-asar nang pandilatan ko siya ng mata. Nilingon ko ang paligid. Kaunti lang ang tao, oo, pero malay ko ba kung may matalas ang tainga rito. "What? I missed you.""Baliw ka na talaga!" May halong gigil na sagot ko sa mahinang boses ko. Gusto ko na siyang saktan ng matindi para magtigil. "Act normal for once, will you?""This is my normal.""Damn—""Excuse me," Napatigil ako nang may umagaw sa atensyon namin. Nilingon ko yung taong tumawag. It's a woman, at hindi ko maitatanggi na may itsura ito. Bagsak ang buhok, hindi purong itim ang kulay no'n unlike ng kay Rosendale pero halos parehas lang sila ng kulay ng mata. She was looking at my girlfriend, her forehead creasing, as if trying to assess the person. "Rosendale?"Nakipagtitigan naman itong kasama ko sa babaeng bigla na lang sumulpot sa harapan namin. Recognition flashed in Rosendale's eyes. "Oh...that's why the name of this shop sounds familiar. You run this place, right?"Natawa iyong babae at tumango. Ako naman ay nananahimik lang, hindi ko sure kung required ba akong sumabat sa kanila or ano. This woman looked friendly, ang bata rin nito tingnan kaya hindi ko masabi kung anong edad niya talaga. For some reason ay magaan ang pakiramdam ko sa kanya, she have that kind aura."It's been a while. Akala ko kahawig mo lang yung kakilala ko, ikaw pala talaga iyan." Napalingon siya sa akin. "Ay sorry, friend mo, Rosendale? Am I disturbing you two?""Not really," Humawak si Rosendale sa kamay ko. "This is Echo, my girlfriend.""Oh..." She nodded her head. Ngumiti ito kaya mas nagmukha siyang maamo. She extended her hand to me. "You have a pretty name, Echo. I'm North. schoolmate kami ni Rosendale noong high school, ahead lang ako ng years.""Nice to meet you." Tinanggap ko ang kamay niya at binitawan din matapos ang ilang segundo. It's my first time meeting someone that's connected with Rosendale. It's quite nice. "North, as in, hilaga?""Yeah...alam kong weird." She chuckled shyly. "Anyway, maiwan ko na kayo.""Pasaan ka?" Tanong ng kasama ko. Mas humigpit lang ang pagkakahawak niya ng kamay sa akin."Sa gallery. Gonna fetch my sister.""I see.""Don't worry about the bill, by the way. It's on the house." She told us with a wink."No, it's okay—""I insist." Pagputol niya sa dapat na pagtanggi ko. It's our first time here tapos libre pa, nakakahiya sa kanya.Gusto ko pa sana kumontra pero umiling kaagad siya sa akin. Bumuntong hininga ako. Guess she won't take no for an answer. "Then let us treat you next time. And I will insist.""Sure thing, Echo." Natatawang sagot niya. Tumalikod na siya. Akala ko ay aalis na ito pero bigla itong humarap ulit sa amin. "A little bit late but, welcome to The Hansen."I can't help but smile. Rosendale have a very kind acquaintance._____
Episode 45:Napahinga ako ng malalim bago silipin ang langit. It was already passed six in the evening pero ito at nasa labas pa ako kasama si Rosendale. We sort of developed a new hobby of going out every late afternoon, waiting for the sunset and then watching the stars go visible. May kalamigan na rin ang hangin, may dala naman akong jacket just in case.Tahimik lang ang lugar. Matao rito tuwing umaga, kadalasan ay mga batang naglalaro lang, kaya sa ganitong oras ay umaalis na rin sila. Nakaupo ako sa duyan na naka-hang lang sa makapal na sanga ng puno. Itong kasama ko naman ay nakasandal lang, maya't maya kong nahuhuli na tumitingin sa akin.Hindi kalayuan ay may Ministop sa kabilang kalsada, ilang bahay at establishments, at paradahan ng tricycle sa may kanto papasok sa isang subdivision. Bukas na rin ang mga street lights.Recently lang naman kami napatambay rito dahil kung tutuusin ay madalas lang akong nasa bahay. Rosendale told me that this vacant lot was a fine spot to waste some time."How was your session?" Napalingon ako sa kanya. She had this peaceful expression that made me feel so calm, it's like telling me there's nothing wrong at all with all that's happening around us.Huminga ako ng malalim at inabot ang kamay niya na kaagad din namang humawak sa akin pabalik. She was drawing circles on my palm with her thumb. Her brown eyes was somehow radiating, hindi ko mabasa kung anong iniisip niya sa ganoong klase ng tingin but I can sense that she's doing just fine. "There's only one word, Rosendale. It was uncomfortable."Natawa siya ng mahina. Pumunta siya sa likuran ko at ipinalibot ang braso sa akin. Ramdam ko ang paghinga maging ang tibok ng puso niya dahil sa sobrang lapit niya She's so soft it can melt me. I can't help but snickered with my own thought, I was starting to think like some hopeless romantic."That's the most precise word." I heard her say. She took a lungful of air, propping her chin on the top of my head. Her embrace became tighter. Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya. "At some point in my life after my family's death, nagpa-therapy rin ako.""Was it effective? Were you ever really diagnosed?""I was diagnosed with depression and PTSD, which is common for people with traumatic experience such as witnessing death. I was able to overcome my PTSD, but you know there are just some things that's inescapable."Hindi ako sumagot pero sang-ayon naman ako sa narinig. Kung ikukumpara siya no'ng una kong makilala, she's surely even worst than now. She's suicidal no more. Hindi ko na siya matatawag pa na ganoon, which was funny because we started like that. She was calling me a bitch and well, ganoon pa rin ako.Maybe I did change, slowly, or maybe I've always been like this, only hidden not until she came. She taught me how to be more understanding. It's like Rosendale was more human than I was. Sobrang magkaiba kami sa lahat ng aspeto.I was aware she's still struggling, I guess it will really take a long time for her to be fine. At sa tingin ko ganoon din ako. It's a long process, but I was hoping it will be worth it. Someday, we'll be truly fine. Hindi ko alam kung anong mangyayari sa mga susunod na panahon, pero sana magkasama pa rin kami sakaling dumating nga ang araw na 'yon. There's a lot of possibilities out there anyway."You're better now," I told her, admitting the truth I saw in her for all this time."I won't say that you completed me, Echo," Narinig ko ang mahinang pagtawa niya, ramdam ko rin ang pagngiti nito. Nakakagaan sa pakiramdam. "But I will not deny that you complemented every fiber of my being."."Ganoon na rin 'yon, pinahaba mo lang." Hindi ko maiwasang mapairap."If you can just shut up for a while and go with the flow." Her voice was laced with both amusement and mockery."Ewan ko sa'yo, bahala ka.""The session will be uncomfortable for you, it will be difficult, that's inevitable." Ibinalik niya sa original na subject ang usapan. "Sometimes you'll see yourself just wanting to stop, but don't. It's part of the process, Echo.""To face the things we don't want to deal with." I said in a low voice. "I'm terrible at it.""You're my denial queen after all.""Excuse me, hindi ako denial.""Sure, sure."Hindi na lang ako umimik kahit halata sa boses niyang hindi naman siya naniniwala. Ramdam ko ang bahagyang paglamig lalo ng hangin pero baliwala lang dahil nakayakap pa rin siya.Huminga ako ng malalim at pumikit. Pakiramdam ko sobrang dami nang nangyari, pero nandoon din yung sensation na parang ang bilis din ng lahat. It's really hard to explain.Umalis si Rosendale para pumunta sa harap ko. She extended her hand which I took in return. "Do you want to go somewhere?""Saan?" I asked her. My parents were at work, at baka late na ring makauwi. Wala namang problema kung magpapagabi kami, kaso ang random ng gusto niya. "Gabi na.""I know some coffeeshop, isang sakay lang naman, but it'll probably take half an hour or less kung walang traffic.""Parang ang layo." Kontra ko. "Tsaka gabi na nga, magkakape pa tayo?"Nagtaas siya ng kilay at bahagya akong hinila palapit sa kanya. "They have desserts if you don't want to intake some caffeine.""Mauuna dessert bago dinner?""Nasa rule ba na bawal?""Wala akong sinabi.""Then let's go, taxi na lang tayo. I'd like to keep you for myself." She showed me a lopsided grin.Napalunok ako. Iba ang dating no'n sa akin. "Shut up, stupid."--The entire place smelled like coffee. It was relaxing, hindi ko alam na pwede pala iyon. Kapag nagkakape naman kasi ako ay hindi ko pinapansin ang amoy. This was my first time going to a coffeeshop. Hindi ko lang alam dito sa babaeng 'to."What do you think about the place?"Nilibot ko ang lugar. I was never good in describing but it was comforting. It was giving the vibes that anyone can come here, hindi intimidating. The music was soft and calming, hindi ganoon kalakas, hindi rin naman sobrang hina.There were also a bunch of books displayed on the shelves sa magkabilang gilid. Para akong nasa library with an extended coffeeshop. The owner must be a bookworm.Nagkibit ako ng balikat bilang sagot. Rosendale just shrugged her shoulder as well. Mabilis naman kaming nakahanap ng mauupuan. Hindi matao ngayong oras which was good."Meron din silang art gallery." She informed me. "You want to see?""Hindi ako mahilig sa art, pero sige. Order na tayo?"Tumango naman siya. "What do you want?""Surprise me.""Bulaga."Para akong nabilaukan sa ginawa niya. She said it in a very monotonous tone, hindi ko malaman kung iniinis niya ba ako or what. Napakunot ako ng noo. "Funny, Rosendale."She chuckled at my sarcasm. Umalis siya at pumunta sa bar stool, she was staring at the menu. Hindi rin nagtagal ay bumalik na siya at naupo sa tabi ko."I discovered this place just very recently, heard it on some students.""Nakikinig ka pala sa usapan ng iba.""Might as well try going out once in a while.""First time mo lang din ba rito?" Tumango siya sa tanong ko. Sabagay, simula nang tumira siya sa amin, lagi lang naman siyang nasa bahay. Ganoon lang ang routine naming dalawa. Ayos na rin siguro ito. A change of environment can be helpful. "How were you no'ng bata-bata ka pa?""More normal? I guess," She tilted her head, her eyes piercing through me. "When I was in highschool, I usually go to this kind of place.""Do you ever had any friends?""A few.""Nasaan na sila?""Hindi ko alam. Matagal na rin 'yon." Sumandal siya sa inuupuan. "I don't need friends, I have you now."Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. Pinipilit huwag ipahalata ang epekto ng sinabi niya sa akin. "That's different.""Then, I'll count your friend as my friend, too.""Si Cheddy?""Do you have any other friends I'm not aware of?" She grinned. "Unless it's imaginary.""You're annoying.""Pikon ka lang."Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. Sasagot pa sana ako nang dumating na ang order namin. Tahimik lang na inilapag nitong lalaki yung inumin at dessert, umalis din naman ito kaagad. Inabot sa akin ni Rosendale yung isang slice ng cake, it was red velvet. Napatango ako. Alam niya kung anong papasa sa panlasa ko. Sa kanya naman ay kape lang talaga."Gusto mo ba?" Alok ko sa kanya. Humigop siya sa baso at umiling. "Sige.""I'll rather taste you—" Ngumisi siya ng pang-asar nang pandilatan ko siya ng mata. Nilingon ko ang paligid. Kaunti lang ang tao, oo, pero malay ko ba kung may matalas ang tainga rito. "What? I missed you.""Baliw ka na talaga!" May halong gigil na sagot ko sa mahinang boses ko. Gusto ko na siyang saktan ng matindi para magtigil. "Act normal for once, will you?""This is my normal.""Damn—""Excuse me," Napatigil ako nang may umagaw sa atensyon namin. Nilingon ko yung taong tumawag. It's a woman, at hindi ko maitatanggi na may itsura ito. Bagsak ang buhok, hindi purong itim ang kulay no'n unlike ng kay Rosendale pero halos parehas lang sila ng kulay ng mata. She was looking at my girlfriend, her forehead creasing, as if trying to assess the person. "Rosendale?"Nakipagtitigan naman itong kasama ko sa babaeng bigla na lang sumulpot sa harapan namin. Recognition flashed in Rosendale's eyes. "Oh...that's why the name of this shop sounds familiar. You run this place, right?"Natawa iyong babae at tumango. Ako naman ay nananahimik lang, hindi ko sure kung required ba akong sumabat sa kanila or ano. This woman looked friendly, ang bata rin nito tingnan kaya hindi ko masabi kung anong edad niya talaga. For some reason ay magaan ang pakiramdam ko sa kanya, she have that kind aura."It's been a while. Akala ko kahawig mo lang yung kakilala ko, ikaw pala talaga iyan." Napalingon siya sa akin. "Ay sorry, friend mo, Rosendale? Am I disturbing you two?""Not really," Humawak si Rosendale sa kamay ko. "This is Echo, my girlfriend.""Oh..." She nodded her head. Ngumiti ito kaya mas nagmukha siyang maamo. She extended her hand to me. "You have a pretty name, Echo. I'm North. schoolmate kami ni Rosendale noong high school, ahead lang ako ng years.""Nice to meet you." Tinanggap ko ang kamay niya at binitawan din matapos ang ilang segundo. It's my first time meeting someone that's connected with Rosendale. It's quite nice. "North, as in, hilaga?""Yeah...alam kong weird." She chuckled shyly. "Anyway, maiwan ko na kayo.""Pasaan ka?" Tanong ng kasama ko. Mas humigpit lang ang pagkakahawak niya ng kamay sa akin."Sa gallery. Gonna fetch my sister.""I see.""Don't worry about the bill, by the way. It's on the house." She told us with a wink."No, it's okay—""I insist." Pagputol niya sa dapat na pagtanggi ko. It's our first time here tapos libre pa, nakakahiya sa kanya.Gusto ko pa sana kumontra pero umiling kaagad siya sa akin. Bumuntong hininga ako. Guess she won't take no for an answer. "Then let us treat you next time. And I will insist.""Sure thing, Echo." Natatawang sagot niya. Tumalikod na siya. Akala ko ay aalis na ito pero bigla itong humarap ulit sa amin. "A little bit late but, welcome to The Hansen."I can't help but smile. Rosendale have a very kind acquaintance._____
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